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Disco Stu
Silver Member
USA
303 Posts |
 Posted - 03/18/2010 : 08:09:21
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Note --
Moderator feel free to delete if you like. A friend passed these on so I am just sharing. 
"Australia jokes...I take it Cambelltown is similar to Sweet Home,
Oregon. Some're kinda gross, but I still laughed a little."
Q. Two Campbelltown girls jump off a cliff. Who wins?
A. Society.
Q. What does a Campbelltown girl use as protection during sex?
A. A bus shelter.
Q. What do you call a 30 year old Campbelltown girl?
A. Granny.
Q. Why did the Campbelltown girl cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason whatsoever.
Q. What do you call a Campbelltown girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.
Q. What's the first question during a Campbelltown quiz night?
A. What you looking at?
Q. Two Campbelltown kids in a car without any music - who is driving?
A. The policeman.
Q. What's the difference between a Campbelltown boy and a Campbelltown
girl?
A. A Campbelltown girl has a higher sperm count.
Q. Three Campbelltown youths drive over a cliff in a Commodore. What is wrong?
A. The car seats four.
Q. What's the most confusing day in Campbelltown?
A. Fathers day
Q. How do people know Jesus wasn't born in Campbelltown?
A. You try finding 3 wise men and a virgin there!
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sp-1
Platinum Member
Germany
1454 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2010 : 08:29:54
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By the way I'm Dutch and I would like to know if you guys know any jokes on Dutchmen ????? I live in Germany and heard two jokes so far.
One of them:
Q: What do you get if you fail your driving test ????
A: A yellow license plate*
*(note: dutch license plates are yellow) |
Edited by - sp-1 on 03/18/2010 09:39:02 |
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Mansun
Gold Member
Spain
564 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2010 : 10:51:37
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Very good jokes! Campbelltown girls seem to be what we in Spain call "chonis", the baddest gals around. I tried to imagine your jokes with them as the subject instead... And it worked! |
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DasBeef
Gold Member
United Kingdom
704 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2010 : 10:59:39
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Ha ha! I heard these but they were either 'Torry Girls' (a small area of Aberdeen where I grew up) or 'Glasgow Girls'.
You have one missing though.
Q. What's the difference between a Cambelltown girl and a walrus?
A. One has a moustache, and smells like fish and the other's a large flippered marine mammal easily recognized by its prominent tusks. |
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Pepe
Silver Member
Germany
230 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2010 : 11:51:49
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quote:
Originally posted by sp-1
By the way I'm Dutch and I would like to know if you guys know any jokes on Dutchmen ????? I live in Germany and heard two jokes so far.
Hey, maybe this one is new to you:
A German, a nun, a gorgeous girl and a Dutchman are sitting face to face in a cabin of a train.
The train passes through a tunnel and it is dark in the cabin because the lights don't work. Suddenly you hear a slap! The train leaves the tunnel, daylight comes again and you see the Dutchman, his face contorted with pain.
"Just as well!" the nun thinks to herself. "Obviously the Dutchman tried to fondle the girl. She didn't like it and hit him in the face."
"Just as well", the girl thinks to herself. "Obviously the Dutchman tried to fondle me and accidently touched the nun and she hit him in the face."
"What the f...?!", the Dutchman thinks to himself. "Obviously the German tried to fondle the girl and accidently touched the nun. Then she wanted to hit him in the face, but he ducked away and she hit me instead!"
"Brilliant!", the German thinks to himself. "In the next tunnel I'll slap the Dutchman again!"
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I just found another one:
Niederländischer Autoaufkleber:
"Als jouw dat lezen kan heb ik mijn Caravan verloren"...
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Edited by - Pepe on 03/18/2010 11:57:11 |
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zerksies
Double Platinum Member
USA
3406 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2010 : 12:19:28
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| I really don't understand the humor |
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Miky
Silver Member
Czech Republic
184 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2010 : 12:57:13
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That knocked me off the chair PepeMusic, though the other took me a while to decipher. |
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sp-1
Platinum Member
Germany
1454 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2010 : 13:22:10
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Thank you PepeMusic
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jack
Platinum Member
USA
1418 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2010 : 15:31:00
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FRANZONI
Double Platinum Member
Ireland
3543 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2010 : 16:19:51
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Nice one Disco Stu..... ..i've heard variations like some of the others relating to parts of my own country and the locals...but funny all the same...
PepeMusic...........
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Dirk
Platinum Member
Netherlands
1309 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2010 : 17:08:57
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quote:
Originally posted by PepeMusic
I just found another one:
Niederländischer Autoaufkleber:
"Als jouw dat lezen kan heb ik mijn Caravan verloren"...
{schoolteacher mode on} This should be spelled correctly: "Als je dit kunt lezen heb ik mijn caravan verloren." {schoolteacher mode off}
Let me translate that for you:
Dutch car sticker:
"If you can read this, then I just lost my caravan." |
Edited by - Dirk on 03/18/2010 17:09:27 |
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Pepe
Silver Member
Germany
230 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2010 : 18:48:39
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| Excuse me, Dirk! I don't speak Dutch! |
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Joske Turbo
Silver Member
Belgium
412 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2010 : 19:17:42
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I have another great Dutchmen joke:
A German arrives at the Dutch border. A guy of the customs asks: " Hello, sir, welcome to the Netherlands, can you please put your name and signature on this paper?" The German replies: " Excuse me, I'm an analphabet." The reply of the Dutchmen: " I don't care what religion you have, just sign the paper!" |
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Disco Stu
Silver Member
USA
303 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2010 : 20:02:06
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The "Analphabet" joke is waaaaayyy over my head. I mean, I really don't get it. But I'm waiting for input from some Australian forum Heavies to hear what they think about Campbelltown.
To me it's just a dream, as I've never been to that Continent, but hear they have the best Pedals, Amps and Electronic Technicians there. And the girls are cute.  |
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natthu
Gold Member
Australia
756 Posts |
Posted - 03/19/2010 : 11:32:36
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Sydney-siders correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe Cambelltown is in Sydney... Can't say I've been there.
However, we have some suitable substitute suburbs here in Adelaide where "Bogans" live: Elisabeth, Salisbury, Parafield Gardens ("Pazza Gazza"), Hackham, Christie's Beach... and I used to live in Hackney in London - which I believe sports a similar socio-economic climate to that which these jokes are eluding to.... except that the inhabitants there are called "Chavs"... |
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Topic |
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Tasteless Aussie Jokes
